Hello Sunshine!

Ahh, I love spring so much! Warmer days and lots of sunshine always make me so much happier. 

Madelyn is now 8 and a half months old. She is a spunky, feisty, and happy (almost) mobile girl! I cannot even begin to express the joy that she brings to my life every day. She is a human rolling pin. If she wants something that is out of reach, she simply tucks and rolls. She sits up from the laying position and has started pulling up on anything and everything. She talks non-stop... not just talks, but yells! Haha. Josh and I are not very loud people ourselves so I have no idea where she has gotten this yelling from. She is getting to be a pro at baby signing, which is awesome. She gets so excited when she actually gets what she wants from signing... and it makes my life a whoooole lot easier. Anyone with a baby or a baby on the way, I highly recommend looking into baby signs. Lets see, what else? She gives kisses! Most of the time she slips some tongue into it... she's a very loving little lady ;) She also makes different animal noises (obviously not perfectly clear). She clucks at the chickens, cock-a-doodles at the rooster, meows at her grandparents cats, and woofs at any dog she sees. She shakes her head yes and no... usually we get a "no" for everything, of course, lol. She has mastered the art of dropping things and saying, "uh-oh", just to get a response. She definitely keeps us busy and on our toes now. She is so close to crawling! She gets up on her hands and knees, rocks back and forth as if to get momentum, then just lays down. She's going to just take off one of these days.

Now that spring is here we have been spending tons of time outside. She loves her new wagon and swing. She cannot get enough of them. She is definitely an outdoors kind of baby. I have a feeling I'm going to be fighting her to come inside this summer. Here's a few pics of her in her new swing and wagon...

My baby isn't such a little baby anymore. In 4 short months she will be a year old! This has been the scariest yet best year of my life. I have no idea what life was like before her now. That's all for now, update wise. Hopefully I will post again before she turns the big 1 :)

A mother's letter to her baby...

I decided the other day that I wanted to write a letter to Madelyn that I can give to her in the future, telling her exactly I am feeling at this stage in her life. I sat down today (since my mother in law was nice enough to take her for the afternoon) and wrote it out. I hope that when she grows up she cherishes my letter to her and doesn't think I was just being a "lame" mom by writing it, haha.


My dearest MadiBear,

    Since the second I laid eyes on you, I knew that my life would be changed forever. I had never loved another being as much as I loved you. You opened your little eyes and looked into mine, and in that instant my heart grew and became full with an overwhelming love that was created just for you. You have brought so much joy into my life that I never even knew I had been lacking.
    As the days go by and you continue to grow, I pray for the woman that you will one day become. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that something is impossible. I pray you grow to be an independent, confident, and beautiful woman. I know that you will be just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. I pray that you will always follow your heart and have the courage to face your fears. You, my baby, are capable of doing great things! When you stumble in life, and you will, I will always be at your side helping you back up. I pray that you never look back on your life with regret. Even when you fail, I pray that you learn from it and use it to better yourself.
    When you become a teenager and eventually an adult, I hope that you can still continue to be my “baby”. I know that we won’t always see eye to eye, trust me, I know. But know this, even on our hardest and most trying days, I will still have more love for you than you can imagine. I will sit back on those hard days and try my best to let you learn through your own experiences. Know this as well, when the time comes that you decide you need your mommas shoulders to either catch your tears or be your support, I will be right here.
    Madelyn, the day that I became your momma was the day that my life became complete. You, my sweet baby girl, are the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m so thankful God blessed me with you as my daughter. You have already taught me so much about myself. You’ve shown me a strength I never saw in myself before you came along. I promise you that I will always be the best mom that I can possibly be. I’m so excited to watch you grow and to see all that life has to offer you. The world better watch out for Miss Madelyn Noelle Hill! I am so proud to call you my daughter.

I love you til infinity,
Momma

Here Comes Santa Clause...

Hello all!

I realize I'm not very good at this whole "blog" thing. I constantly forget that this thing exists. So, I'm sorry that months go by without any updates.

Miss Madelyn is now almost five months old. She amazes me more and more every day. She has developed her own little personality. She is a spunky little lady and constantly makes me laugh. Last week she perfected the art of raspberry blowing. She sits there and blows raspberries and thinks it's hilarious when you blow them back. Yesterday Madelyn hit the next milestone and rolled over for the first time! I knew it was going to happen because she kept on rolling onto her side, so I sat there watching and waiting to capture the first roll on my cellphone. A story came on the Today Show that I was interested in so I watched it for literally 30 seconds and when I looked back at Mads she was on her belly. Just my luck! I squealed because I was so excited for her, which ended up startling her and made her flop back onto her back, haha. She rolled again right after, so even though I missed the first official roll, I still got to document the second.

Josh's brother, Jason, came up from Florida on Sunday so we had Christmas early with Jason, his wife Michelle, and their parents. Madelyn surely got spoiled by her Aunt and Uncle, and of course her grandparents. I have no idea where we will put all of the gifts that Madelyn has gotten and has yet to get.

As Christmas quickly approaches, I find myself with mixed feelings this year. Of course, I am excited to be celebrating our first Christmas as a family of three. Josh and I have truly been blessed this year with our beautiful, healthy, happy baby. My heart is filled with so much joy! Along with that joy comes a bit of sorrow. Christmas is special in my heart for more than the fact of it just being Christmas. December 25th is also my grandfathers birthday. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I miss his voice. I miss his smell. I miss that he was the only person to call me "Emmy", even when I was a junior in high school. I miss how he would ask every time we were in the car, "do we have everybody?". And I miss him saying "let's take the scenic route" every time he had to take us home from somewhere. He would then proceed to drive past our road and drive around the block. At the time I hated the "scenic route"... I wanted to just get home, but I would do anything to take the scenic route with him now.

Every year is rough without him here but this year has hit the hardest. I mourn the fact that Madelyn will never meet her great grandfather, Noel. I know that this sweet baby girl would have had him by the heartstrings from the start. Grandpa was a sucker for the cute little girls of the family. I know that she would have held a special place in his heart.

As this holiday season nears, be sure to cherish your time with your lived ones. You never know what next year will bring. I've never forgiven myself for missing my last chance to see my grandfather. It was a Sunday. My family was heading to buffalo to visit with my grandfather in the hospital like they did every Sunday. I didn't want to go. I was stubborn and selfish and put up a fight about going. My parents let me stay home. When my parents returned that evening they told me he had been having a good day, health wise. They also said he had been asking where I was. Monday came and during lunchi was called to the office at school. As soon as I saw my parents standing there I knew what they were there to tell me. For my own selfish and childish reasons I missed my last chance to see my grandfather. I lost my last chance to tell him I loved him. I dont regret much that's happened in my life, but that I do regret. I'm not posting this looking for people to say things to make me feel better or to feel bad for me. I'm posting this hoping that I will finally be able to let it go. I'm also posting this to remind people to appreciate their loved ones. I pray that no one has to feel guilt about not getting to tell a loved one that you love them and appreciate them.

I want to wish you all happy holidays and hope the new year brings you nothing but joy. Much love.

In The Spirit of Thanksgiving...

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving I'm going to fall on the bandwagon of Facebook and say what I am thankful for. Instead of coming up with something for each day, I'm just gonna put it all at once.

I am thankful for:

1. Having a wonderful house to live in. Eventually it will be clean and fully done... maybe by the time Madelyn is out of the house, haha. 

2. My siblings. No matter what they are always there for me. We may fight at times but we always make up and move on.

3. My parents. They have been so supportive throughout the years. I couldn't even begin to thank them enough.

4. My in-laws. They created an amazing man that I am proud to call my husband.

5. Madelyn's grandparents. Yes, they are my parents and in-laws but yet, they are so different as grandparents. It melts my heart to see how much love they have for my baby.

6. My best friend and husband. I would be lost without him. He came back into my life at the perfect time. He is my support system and my sanity. He's the best daddy in the world... I could not have picked out a more perfect man to marry and reproduce with.

7. Madelyn. She has brought so much joy into my life. I never knew that this kind of love existed. She is such a happy baby; she babbles and giggles all day long. Besides a milk allergy (so far) she is a healthy baby, which I am most thankful for.

8. DeLaval. I know I complain about Josh's job a lot, but really, without him having such a great job I wouldn't be able to stay home with Madelyn.

9. Friends... old and new. I really suck at keeping in touch with people, but know that I love and cherish all of you.

10. My past. The good, the bad, and even the ugly. Without past experiences and relationships I wouldn't be where I am today. I hope I learned something from every experience.

11. Coffee. 'Nough said.

12. Sleep. I am sooo thankful that I have been blessed with a baby that sleeps all night! Ahh. The first month or so she would wake up once or twice a night, but since she's been about 2 or 2 and a half months she has slept through the night. Most nights she sleeps from 8 until 6. Last night she slept from 7:30 until 6:50 =)

13. The Mexican restaurant... what can I say, I'm a sucker for a good fajita.

14. Bob and Zack. Strange, I know... but, whenever Josh needs help with anything around the house or his parents house he can always count on either one of them to drop what they are doing and come help him.

15. My handyman. I know I already said I was thankful for Josh, but, I am thankful for him being such a handyman. I don't know how he does it, but it seems like the guy can do anything! You need something rigged up? Go see Josh Hill, he will figure it out.

16. My phone. It's sad but I'm addicted.

17. Abe and Marie. I'm glad that my brothers have found such great gals to make them happy. They are good to my brothers and that's all I could ask for.

18. Wine. I love it and miss it. Having a child has hurt our relationship.

19. My washer and dryer... I went a year without either. Not having them for that long made me definitely appreciate having them now.

20. Kim, the midwife I went to while pregnant. She calmed all of my fears and made sure I was 100% comfortable during pregnancy and labor. I actually miss seeing her every week. I'm so glad I had someone who truly cared for me and my baby.

21. Nap time. It's what keeps me sane most days.

22. Shows like Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and 16 and Pregnant. Watching just one episode always makes me appreciate my wonderful life.

So, I meant to have something for every day of November... my mind has stopped working and nap time is over so I must finish at a later time.

Bye Bye Baby Blues...

Little miss Madelyn is now a whole two weeks old, I can't believe it was already two weeks since I had her! We are all doing well, we are slowly adjusting to our new lives. It took a couple of weeks but I can now finally say, "I got this!"
Madelyn had her two week check up on Monday. The big girl already weighs 7 pounds and 4 ounces, over a whole pound more than she was when she was born. It seems like the little porker is attached to the boob 24/7. She also grew a quarter of an inch in the last two weeks. The doctor said she looks to be in great health. I thought for sure she had some colic or reflux going on because she has had such rotten belly aches but the doctor assured me that she is fine and her screaming is normal. If this is normal I would probably kill myself if I had a baby with colic lol! I don't think I could do it. Madelyn's belly seems to be getting better, we've had fewer screaming fits, and now I got the ok to give her gripe water when she does seem to be in pain. Gripe water = little mini baby cocktail. The stuff is amazing but it makes her look like she's been boozing for days.
I'm finally feeling like I can handle my life again. It only took about two weeks, lol. I didn't realize it then but I had a serious case of the baby blues. I obviously had this overwhelming love for this beautiful baby but I also had this overwhelming feeling of "what did we do? We were not ready for this!" thankfully it was only two weeks that this lasted. I am now falling more and more in love with this baby as the days go on. You know you're at a low when you think the girls on Teen Mom handle their lives better than you, lol!
That's all for now. Baby is continuing to grow and looks more and more like her daddy every day. He doesn't see it but I do :) She definitely has his eyes, they just have to turn green to be just like his.
Later gators.

The Wait Is Over!

It felt like this pregnancy was never going to end this last month, but alas, it finally has! It got to the point where the doctor told me every week, "Ok, we'll probably see you in the hospital at some point this week!" My response every week was, "Yeahhh... I'll see you next week for my appointment." I was doing everything I could to get baby out but nothing was working. I was walking up and down the road like a mad woman, doing squats every time I stood up, walking up and down the stairs a million times a day, running in the pool, husband and wife time ;).... everything, but nothing was working!

July 31st was my moms birthday and I kept joking that the baby would come on her birthday because when she was pregnant with my brother she did not want to share her day... instead she forced him to wait until August 1st to be born, lol. Well, on July 31st (Sunday) I had a horrible stomach ache in the morning but just figured it was the big breakfast I ate. We had a dinner for my mom that night; while we were there I was getting what felt like gas pains. We left my parents around 8-8:30 and by 9 I was having pretty bad pains. I thought it was nothing until the pains made me start sweating everything they came. I told Josh and his reaction was to make me start walking the stairs, lol. The contractions weren't enough proof for him, he had to make sure I was really in labor. By the time we left for the hospital at 10:30, I was having contractions every 7 minutes. We got to the hospital by 11:30 and my contractions were about every 5 minutes apart. They kept me hooked up to monitors until about 2:30 before they even admitted me to the hospital. My midwife got to the hospital around 5, I believe, and that's when she broke my water. My contractions before then had been bad but managable. Once she broke me water, that was a different story. Within minutes I felt like I had been literally ran over by a semi. They gave me some medicine that they said would take the edge off... I don't know what edge they were talking about because it certainly didn't do anything for me! I was in the worst pain of my life when finally I said I wanted an epidural. My message to all of those out there that are waiting to give birth, don't be wonder woman, get the dang thing! Within minutes I felt like a million bucks. I was able to sleep finally, after being up all night. By the time I woke up I was about 8 cm, I rested for a little longer then I started feeling some pressure and the midwife told me it was time to push! 50 minutes later beautiful little Madelyn Noelle was born.

Life with baby has definitely taken some time to adjust to. We are slowly getting the hang of things here... I finally feel like I can touch her without breaking her. She had her 1 week check up yesterday, she is already past her birth weight! She was 6 pounds 3 oz and 20 inches long at birth. When we left the hospital she was down to 5 pounds 13 oz... yesterday she was 6 pounds 8 oz! She's a little porker! The doctor said she looks great and we have nothing to worry about as of now :)

That's all for now, I hope to be able to update often but we will see how that goes.

So close I can taste it!

My due date is now roughly 3 weeks away, although, the doctor says that she doubts I will last that long. With the due date fast approaching I feel so happy, excited, scared, nervous, anxious... basically I'm a ball of emotions. Looking back at this pregnancy I feel like it went by so fast, but at the same time I can't remember what it feels like to not be pregnant. As annoying as it is to be woken up at 4am to your stomach literally doing flips, I think I may miss the little pokes and nudges that I constantly get now. Of course there are many things that make me look forward to this journey ending. I can't wait to have my body back to myself... I cannot wait to get the pregnancy weight off finally! I can't wait to have my normal feet and ankles back... my feet have been so swollen I can barely recognize them. I can't wait to be able to sleep again. I would much rather be up because of a hungry/crabby baby than being up just because I'm too uncomfortable to sleep. Reflecting back, the annoying outweighs the good aspects of being pregnant so I'm happy to pass off the pregnancy baton (hopefully to CG) =). As uncomfortable as the last few months are, it's totally worth it in the end though... I can't wait to love on our beautiful baby girl <3.

I went to the doctor yesterday... the baby's heart rate and all that is looking great. I measured at 35 weeks, which means that the baby has dropped! Woo! The doctor said that the baby's head is starting down the birth canal so I could go at any time. Last week when I went to the doctor I was already almost 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced so I'm curious to see how much more I have dilated this week. If the baby isn't here by next Tuesday (my next appointment), the doctor is going to strip my membranes which she says will most likely get the ball rolling. The baby's car seat is ready and waiting in the car and now the hospital bags are all packed and also waiting. Come on, Madelyn, your mommy and daddy are ready to meet you! =)

Josh and I decided that the first few weeks of Madelyn's life we are going to try our best to keep it low key and stress free... meaning lots of just Madelyn, mommy, and daddy time. With the exception of our immediate families (meaning our parents, grandparents, and siblings), we are going to try to keep visitors to a minimal. Sorry if that upsets some people, but I promise that you will all get to meet her very very soon! We just need time to get used to our new life and we will be able to do that best without having people coming and going constantly. We had discussed trying to plan a picnic as a "come meet our baby" type day. People can then come and go as they please =).

Well, everything is set and ready for baby. Mommy and daddy are more than ready to get to hold and love on our baby... now we just get to wait for her arrival, whenever that may be.